Run Your Own Race.

Comparison as a self-development tool is a tricky one. Comparing yourself to others can be an informative process and for some people provide inspiration for positive growth. It can also be used as an effective tool for building gratitude.

For most folks however, I think comparison is an exercise that most often leads to discouragement, confusion, and jealousy. 

We now live in a time when comparing yourself to others is ingrained in everyday life - social media being the primary culprit is a platform built largely around the idea of comparison. Gone are the days when comparing yourself to others was seeing the new car your neighbor bought - now folks have the ability to “measure” themselves against others 24 hours a day 7 days a week in any number of categories - wealth, fitness, “influence”, and beauty to name just a few. Further, social media allows for comparison to people that are at the top of their field- some of the fittest people on earth, world-class chefs, supermodels, etc. 

Although most folks can intellectualize the fact that social media posts are largely an illusion and represent only a highly curated sliver of an individual’s life, consistent consumption of this content still works to negatively impact both the self-image and motivation of individuals. Research now clearly links chronic social media consumption with higher rates of depression and anxiety, showing that many people adopt a “why bother” mindset due to the fact they are measuring their current lifestyle or progress against the edited version of top performers. 

I think the most effective solution is an obvious one, but for a lot of folks is very difficult to put into practice -   limit overall consumption and couple it with intentionality regarding what you are taking in. That being said, trying to limit consumption while maintaining frequent use of these apps is VERY difficult given the addictive nature of the platforms. To use them with boundaries requires very high levels of self-discipline and awareness. Therefore, I think folks need to be honest and answer truthfully whether or not they think they can use these apps with limitations (duration caps, set times of day, etc). I think the honest answer for most people is that they need to delete these platforms outright. If your business relies on it, treat the use of the app as such - assign a particular time of day for actual work on the platform and put a duration cap on it. 

For folks who decide to keep their social media accounts I would suggest a major “thinning” of the people who they follow. Pare it down to accounts that provide positivity, inspiration, and leave you feeling excited about getting OFF the platform and into real life. Unfollow all the rest. Use the “explore” function at an absolute minimum. 

In addition to minimizing opportunities for comparison, it is just as important for people to stop looking for “shareable” snapshots in their own life. Real fulfillment comes from the satisfaction of consistent work/progress (or just life experiences) without external validation. A person’s focus should be on the process of personal growth as opposed to the moments when they can tell others how they’re doing.